Feathered Dreams: Book One Read online

  “Ryan, keep me updated on when you’ll be returning home. Goodbye Ann, I wish you well.”

  Ryan glances over, “Are you sure you don’t want me to turn around? Maybe you can still fight for him?”

  I let his words roll over me as I think about my relationship with Christian. Did I want to fight for him? Of course, I did. But no matter how much I fight, it is never going to be enough. No, my fight is gone. I sigh and shake my head.

  “Where are we going?” I ask as I look out of the window.

  “I am starving. I could hardly eat breakfast with the tension at the table. Then Cherie left. And on my way to lunch I ran into you. I’ll just grab a quick burger. Do you want anything?”

  I shake my head. I bite back a laugh. I can’t imagine a Prince using a regular burger drive through, but he does. He orders a burger meal for himself, a milkshake, and extra fries. When we pull up and he rolls the window down to pay, my ears are bombarded with a high-pitched squeal from a blonde woman in the window.

  “Oh my gosh. See Tiffany. I told you it was his voice.” She bats her eyelashes at Ryan. “Prince Ryan it is so good to see you. You are much more handsome in person.”

  He smiles brightly. “Thank you,” He reads her name tag. “Bonnie. How are you lovely ladies doing today?” He asks in a charming voice.

  They giggle and five young ladies are trying to squeeze through the window and there is a line of cars honking behind us. They pass him the food with napkins decorated with kisses and phone numbers.

  “It is on the house my Prince.” Bonnie grins.

  “I appreciate your hard work ladies, thank you again.”

  I laugh and toss a fry at his head. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

  “What? Surprised at my charming attributes?” Ryan winks at me.

  We drive to a quiet rest area overlooking a retention pond. As we sit at a picnic bench, I look at my dress and his suit and I snicker.

  He hands me the milkshake and extra fries. “Good comfort food. It’ll make you feel better.”

  “Thank you.” I pull my tiara off and put it on the table. I let the cool breeze throw my loose hair around. I moan softly as I feel the salty, warm fry make its way to my stomach.

  I tap his shoulder with mine. “How do you know this is good comfort food?”

  Ryan stares at his feet. “Can you keep a secret?”

  “Nope.”

  Ryan laughs as he watches me. “I secretly meet up with Bonnie after hours. I mean she is so hot with her hair net and all. Plus, all the free fries a man can eat.”

  I roll my eyes. “Ryan your dad would never let you date a cashier at a burger place.”

  He chuckles. “You are absolutely right. The truth is when mom is feeling under the weather this is her comfort food.” He shrugs. “And she is a wonderful sharer.”

  “That is a lot more believable. Let me guess, that is part of her cycle food cravings?”

  “Are all women like that? Do you have a special food you like?”

  I lean back and sip my milkshake. “I like chocolate and greasy pizza.”

  “Hopefully not together.” He wrinkles his nose.

  “That is a great idea I will have to try that next month.”

  After some food and getting out of my head I do feel better. I peek through my lashes at Ryan and wonder if he made that story up to help me feel better.

  “What is going on over there?”

  By the pond is a family of ducks waddling together. I watch as one by one they plop into the sparkling water and paddle away in one straight line. I look in the direction Ryan is pointing. One of the yellow ducklings is quacking frantically to his family. One of the adult ducks hears its cries and stops swimming. It pecks at a piece of plastic caught around the duckling’s neck.

  Ryan grabs my arm. “Wait, Ann. What if the duck attacks you?”

  “Are you afraid of a duck, Ryan?”

  “No, of course not I’m only looking out for your safety.”

  “And I’m looking out for the safety of a defenseless creature.” I pull my arm away.

  The adult attacks my foot and hisses as I near. The duckling tries to run off, but the plastic is relentless. I ignore the protests and collect the baby in my hands. I pull at the plastic and grumble.

  “This poor duck is caught in somebody’s garbage when there is a trashcan right here. People are such assholes.” Tears prick my eyes when the plastic doesn’t loosen. “They never stop to consider their actions have severe consequences for others.” Even though I am glaring at the trash I know my words are directed towards Christian and the way he has handled me.

  “I don’t believe it. Did you just curse? Lady Ann, that isn’t very lady like.” Ryan teases.

  Ryan slips two fingers between the plastic ring and the duckling’s neck and pulls. The plastic snaps and falls to the ground. I kneel at the water’s edge and set it down gingerly. The adult gives my arm a hard nip. Then takes off with the baby towards the others quacking and shuffling their tail feathers as they fade into the distance.

  “Ann, your arm is bleeding.”

  Ryan searches in the car for a bandage.

  “How about napkins with kisses on them?”

  I push away his hand and search through my purse. I unwrap a panty liner and pat my wound.

  “That is gross why would you use that?”

  “You were trying to give me germ infested napkins, and you think a clean panty liner is gross? You’re just jealous of my resourcefulness.”

  Ryan looks into my eyes. “No, you’re wrong Ann. I’m not jealous of your resourcefulness, but your compassion for life.”

  Ryan’s phone rings. The caller ID says mom, so I relax and lean back. Ryan answers it on speaker again.

  “Hey mom you are on speaker. I am driving Ann home to be with her dad for a little bit.”

  “Thank you, Ryan, Christian brought me up to speed. Lady Ann?”

  “Yes, Queen Elizabeth?”

  “I’m sorry about your sick chicken, and about Christian’s change of heart regarding the engagement. But I would like to remind you that we are working together, and I need notice when you leave.”

  “I am so sorry Queen Elizabeth I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

  “I understand. I’m going to text Ryan the contractor’s name and number and you can call him at your convenience, and I’ll see you when you get back. Ryan be safe, dear. I’m sure the press will be hounding Ann’s house when Christian has his press conference.”

  There’s a short pause, then she adds, “Ryan, I’m sorry about Cherie. And the fact that she wasn’t honest with you is terrible.”

  “Thank you, mom, do you need us for anything else?”

  “No, but I’ll be in touch soon.”

  I slowly turn to Ryan. “Did Cherie cheat on you?”

  “Yes, that’s why it was easy for her to break things off. Apparently, it’s a family friend that she always had feelings for. But I would rather not discuss it.”

  We pull into my driveway.

  Ryan turns to me. “Ready to go inside?”

  Rough Day

  I look up at my one story, three-bedroom, two-bathroom, brick house and swallow the lump in my throat. Ryan puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.

  “I’m here for you whenever you are ready.”

  “Ryan, I just don’t think I can handle losing two important things in my life. All in one day.”

  “Maybe you don’t have to? And if you do, you will not be doing it alone.”

  “Dad I’m here.”

  As Ryan shuts the front door behind us, Suzie tears up and smiles at me.

  “Ann, look at you. You look absolutely breathtaking, dear.”

  “And who’s this?”

  I move aside so Ryan can come forward. “Prince Ryan.” And he extends a hand to her.

  “Suzie, where is dad?”

  “He’s with Pecker in the sunroom waiting for you.”

  My feet know the way to go, even if
my heart screams no. My dad is kneeling on the carpet. By his side in a tote is my Pecker. Her chest is heaving as she tries to breathe and her black eyes are half closed.

  “Oh, Pecker.”

  I stroke her black and white feathers. They feel rougher than normal under my hands. She makes a pitiful sound as she recognizes my voice. I grab her into a gentle hug and cry into her feathers.

  “My sweet girl.”

  My dad offers a hand to Ryan. “Thank you for bringing Ann home. My name is Jack.”

  “It was my pleasure sir. She was distraught, and I didn’t want her driving here alone. I’m Prince Ryan, but please call me, Ryan.”

  They give me a few minutes with her before dad says, “Ann, honey, Pecker is in a lot of pain.”

  “Do you have any idea what is wrong with her?”

  “I think she has an egg impaction. She is getting up there in age.”

  Ryan cautiously extends a hand and strokes her feathers. “I didn’t know that could happen. How can we fix it? Laxative?”

  My dad lets out a hearty laugh and I crack a small smile. “No, Ryan, I’m afraid not. Unfortunately, we only have two options.”

  “Options are good, right?” He turns to me, but I can’t meet his gaze.

  Dad rubs his stubble. “We can either let her suffer or put her down.”

  Ryan looks from Pecker to my dad. “You mean you can put her down with a quick shot?”

  Dad puts his hand on Ryan’s shoulder and shakes his head. “Sorry Ryan. It’s never that easy.”

  I stare down at Pecker with silent tears falling as I stroke her. I feel dad’s strong, arm around me. I give him a short nod. I stand with Pecker in my arms feeling her bones poke through her layer of feathers.

  “It is okay girl; it is almost over.”

  “What is Jack going to do? Is he going to end Pecker’s life? And you, you’re going to watch?”

  I return his gaze with a sad smile. “Ryan, she needs me. Even if it’s uncomfortable to watch. I’m not going to abandon her now. You can stay inside if you’d rather.”

  We go to the shed where dad has an axe ready. I lay Pecker down on the log. I kiss the top of her head.

  “Goodbye, my sweet girl.”

  I suck in a sob.

  “I’ll miss you dearly. Fly high with mom.”

  I take a few steps back. I feel Ryan’s warmth by my side.

  The golden sun is setting and the orange and red rays smudge across the sky. My dad strokes Pecker and turns his tired eyes towards me.

  “Are you ready, Ann?”

  I look down at Pecker and nod. Then I cling to Ryan. He wraps his arms around me as my dad brings the axe down.

  And Pecker is free of her pain and suffering.

  I cry into Ryan’s shoulder. Memories of Pecker pass through my mind. I’m done having to say goodbye to the ones I love. He strokes my hair and holds me tight allowing me to take comfort in his presence and warmth. Even with the golden rays of the setting sun, I feel cold. Colder than I have felt in a long time.

  Behind us I hear clicking noises and turn to see my dad going towards a flock of reporters.

  “Hey. This is private land. Get off my property.”

  My dad turns to Ryan. “Ryan, can you get Ann inside while I run off the vultures?”

  I’m in a daze and not caring where I go. My girl is gone. I look down as I walk into the house and see blood splatters on my dress.

  “Ryan, I need to shower.”

  He sees the blood stains. “Oh, no I’m sorry, Ann.”

  We enter the master bedroom. I pass the tv and queen bed to grab clothes out of my dresser. Then I brush past Ryan as he glances around.

  “You can wait in here if you want. Or the guest room and extra bathroom is down the hall.”

  “You have the master bedroom?”

  “After my mom died, my dad thought I could use it more than him. But I honestly think it hurt him to be in the same room they shared for so long.”

  “I can’t imagine how hard that was for him—or you. I can’t envision growing up without my mother.”

  I walk towards the bathroom and turn to him. “Feel free to watch some tv or whatever you want. The remote is on the nightstand.”

  I blink at my reflection. My makeup is ruined, my dress is stained, and my hair is standing up. When I run the hairbrush through my tangled nest my mind wanders. Maybe that is how life works, with lots of knotted messes that you must work through until it’s smoother.

  I try to grab the zipper. I try again with no luck. I poke my head out of the bathroom. Ryan is laying on my bed with his shoes and jacket off reading one of my farming magazines. I laugh at the absurd picture and he looks up.

  “Ann, are you okay?”

  “Ryan has Suzie come inside the house yet?”

  “Last I saw they were barreling down the road after the reporters.” He chuckles. “Your dad sure can run fast. Anything I can help with? I feel so useless.”

  I stare at him for a moment and turn around moving my long hair aside. I point to the stubborn zipper.

  “I’m a helpless prisoner, please help me.”

  I hear him laugh, as he pulls himself up off my bed. I feel his warmth behind my back, as he grabs a few loose strands of hair and moves it over my shoulder with the rest. He grabs the tiny zipper and pulls it down. I feel the dress loosen as I hold the sides up. I feel his fingers linger on my exposed back. Then he pulls them back.

  “Freedom is yours again.”

  “Thank you.”

  I walk to the bathroom and close the door. I’m tingling where his fingers touched me. I shimmy out of the dress and get into the shower. I let the hot water wash over my tired body.

  Ryan is flipping through channels when I walk out.

  “Are you feeling better?”

  I nod and climb on to the bed next to him. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. Two friends flipping through channels together.

  “Anything good on TV?”

  “I’ve found a good movie for us to watch.”

  He plays Charlotte’s Web.

  “Is this a good choice?”

  I start balling and cover my face with my hands.

  Ryan jumps up.

  He runs into my bathroom and unable to find any tissues he grabs a roll of toilet paper.

  As I wipe my eyes my dad comes through the door carrying soup.

  “We brought some soup for supper,” Suzie announces then she sees the toilet roll in my hand and humor dances behind her eyes, “And I’ll get a box of tissues too.”

  Ryan turns to my dad. “I am sorry Jack. All I did was put a movie on and she broke down.” He gestures towards my crying figure.

  “It is okay Ryan. She’ll be fine in a day or two. You’ll see.” Then he places a kiss on my head and gives Ryan a pat on the back. “I made the guest bed up for you, Ryan.”

  Suzie hands the tissues to Ryan.

  Ryan turns the tv off.

  I wipe my eyes and blow my nose. “I’m sorry Ryan. You can drive home if you want to.”

  “I’m sorry you have had a rough day, Ann.” He opens his arms for me to hug him. I snuggle up to him and rest my head on his shoulder.

  “I know your day has been awful, too. Thank you for being here for me.”

  “That is what friends are for.” He pulls away and hands me my soup. “Now eat my friend.”

  It smells amazing. I sip at it and swirl the spoon around the red liquid. Tomato soup is one of my favorites and it’s still hot.

  I wake up the next morning on top of the covers with my head resting on Ryan’s slow-moving chest. I rub my eyes as I look around.

  Recalling the previous day, I move closer to the warmth of his chest. Ryan hums and puts his hand on my back. It’s comforting and I drift back to sleep.

  In my nightmare the end of the axe is coming down on Pecker, but before it falls my head is in its path with Christian holding the axe. The self-righteous look on his face never leaves,
as the blade slices through my neck and blue feathers fly high into the heavens.

  Helping

  I look in the mirror and groan. It’s too bad Karen isn’t here because her stomach muscles would be on fire. I find a comfortable pair of jeans and one of my favorite shirts that said Mother Cluckers on it. Even if my dad hated it, I know Ryan would enjoy its flawed humor.

  The silence in the house is deafening. I make it to the kitchen and get my coffee started. Looking out of the window, I watch the chickens run around the yard. My heart aches knowing Pecker wasn’t amongst them enjoying the early afternoon sun.

  The coffee machine beeps. I grab my chicken mug, inhale the wonderful smell, and take a sip.

  I sit on the barstool and grab the newspaper. I go to take another sip of coffee, as the back door opens. Ryan walks in and I spit my coffee out, as I laugh. Ryan is shirtless, wearing overalls, boots, and a straw hat and he’s followed in by my dad.

  “Have you two been busy?” I smirk.

  Dad flicks the coffee machine back on. “Since someone overslept, Ryan volunteered to help around the farm.”

  Even if he is trying to make me feel bad for sleeping in, I can hear his pride to have a man around to help. My dad kisses my head.

  Ryan takes off my dad’s old boots and straw hat and washes his hands. Those suits at the Palace hide a lot. His arm muscles ripple as he washes and I force myself to look away.

  “It’s not as easy as it looks is it Prince Ryan?”

  He laughs a deep laugh. “Your dad could outrun and out lift me any day. I’m exhausted. Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes, better than I have in a while. It’s good to be home.”

  Ryan watches out the window. “It’s so peaceful here. I don’t feel I have people looking over my shoulder every second of the day.” Ryan turns and leans back. “Ann, I caught the news with your dad this morning and it seems those reporters, well, they had some interesting things to say about us.”

  “Fine, whatever, I really don’t care anymore, let them talk.”

  “My mom called me asking if you called the contractor yet.”

  With the trauma of Pecker’s death, I forgot all about it. I grab the phone, as Ryan reads me the number. The contractor picks up and we discuss a starting date.